А по Русски ?

"once upon a time"... "and then the space ships invaded"... "cows died"... mumbles... jumps out of the chair "and i swing that" mumbles again... "and that's how he saved Christmas"...

do you like it? :D (P.S. i couldn't resist the urge to do a story like this to see if it counts as anything :P)

Edit: awe it removed the marks i put in showing actions instead of parts of the story :(

Ah, okay. I bought a game, and I played it. How's that? Pure fiction.

Fairy tale version: Once upon a time there lived a man and a game. And the man bought the game. And they lived happily ever after.

One day , i dont know why i went to the GYM. I changed my cloethes , because i was going to play basketball. I exit the locker room and i saw this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=711bZ_pLusQ&feature=g-all-c

that was so mysterious, i don't even know that it is possible. I said OMG !
That day finally comes, the infinity slinky appears. I forget to mention, i was ill - i had terrible stomachache, but when i saw that it wasn't matter, it goes away - that pain. I was staing and looking , thinking - when it wil end ? But no reason comes.
I almost died of dehydration because i was staying and looking at it for 3 weeks.
But i think that was AWESOME.

BEWARE SLINKY COMES !! IT WILL TAKE OVER YOUR MIND !! :D INFINITY IS POSSIBLE ( but energy still needed )

the end
regards :D

One time I was walking down a street, then I got a erection. There was no survivors.

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

Once upon a time, there were 3 pigs, they got cursed and were forced to fight each other to death or else they'll become a tree alive.

So, they fought over each other, the smallest pig was squashed into meat balls, the medium sized pig got hit in the head and died, and the final pig won, but because they then stopped fighting each other, they still became trees.

O_O I'm sorry... i guess everyone is gonna do it now... well to make it up to you i send you this picture and hope its worth all the trouble i started... http://i.imgur.com/f51Cu.jpg (idk how to make it clicky but I'm sure someone nice will make it into one for me)

A girl was freezing next to a mountain road. no wonder, it was winter. A car came, driver said: 'How much?', and the girl got in the car. The storyteller slipped on the ice next to the car, so we dont know what happened inside. He only heard one thing : ' I love licking'

An attorney was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets, a car was involved in an accident. As expected a large crowd gathered. Going by instinct, the attorney was eager to get to the injured, but he couldn't get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

Once upon a time, There was a guy.

He was so Ugly, Everyone died.

The end.

Guess I'll just tell a real story.

A bit before I actually start, I love anime ^_^ and I'm not really interested in women... (unless it's my beautiful Sanya <3). Constantly I have friends who try to tell me to go out with girls and try to set me up... but it usually doesn't turn out well, + I'm not really interested and have no interest to be married :|. This probably stemmed from my friends girlfriend who constantly abused me, but that is a whole nother' story....

So I go to class one day (I'm about 15 or 16) and I sit down at my desk, and one of my friends tell me I should go out with "that one girl" and points to her. I politely refuse telling him I'm not interested (like the 300th time) when he asks if I'm gay. I'm like "er... no dude" but apparently it gets wind and people in my school think I'm gay. I don't really get angry about it and I'm a pacifist so I just let it be. So eventually (after about 1 week or so) I'm walking down the hall to my next period, some guy makes a move on me. He does the super cliche thing where they push you at the locker and say "so... how you doing?" I reply "okay I guess" and he asks if I want to go out with him. Though he was pretty good looking, I said no because I'm not gay. And because of that situation... well I'm known as the "gay guy" in my school and I'm pretty popular with the girls now because they think it's okay to hang around me since I'm gay...

Not really a crazy story, but just felt like saying it anyways hahaha. Oh and if you were wondering how the guy looked he was actually an exchange student, german guy. He really did look good, not sure why he wanted to go out with me though XD.

Once upon a time a troll who ...

In April 1997, a turkey hunter in Yellowwood State Forest, Indiana, came upon a huge sandstone boulder wedged between three branches of an oak tree about 35 feet from the ground. The arrow shaped rock was estimated to weight 500lb. Subsequently, four more large boulders were found wedged high up in trees elsewhere in the forest. All were in remote areas. None of the trees were damaged and there were no signs of heavy equipment begin used or of tornado damage and no one recalled any mishaps involving dynamite anywhere nearby. When the hunter went back on a dark night, he saw something moving in the darkness. He got chills in his spine when he saw red eyes gleeaming through the sheet of darkness surrounding him, and he thought they were dragon eyes. He got scared and went home only to realize what the stones meant. He went back the following night, a stone statue of a man with him and put the arrows in his knee and yelled, "Arrow to the knee". He went home only to find an archer in his doorway, and hit him in the knee with an arrow. The rest.... is unknown.

I'm not sure if it counts since it's not even my video, but here is a crazy story.

The Womb (In Progess) By Nick Alexander (Me)

The darkness drew near as the two finished their delightful dinner in front of the television. The love they had for one another drew them closer until they touched flesh. Their flesh rippled and crackled as they clashed against one another. The inevitable was bound to happen. One last and quick rattle left them both quivering. They had finally copulated together and begun their life long journey. The two stretched their flesh and laid amongst one another as they drew closer to their deaths.

Day One: Though I inevitably doomed the others I have reached salvation. It is in due time that I begin my own journey. I shall grow in build and intellect.

(To Be Continued in the near future.)

One day a guy named protoxbe told me: you won!
The end.

Today, when I was comming back to home I had control in the bus and I hadn't ticket!

Thats story of my life_/

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Once upon a time there was a magic tractor.
Then it turned into a field.

The End

There once was a boy who like to suck his thumbs.

His mother asked him to stop, but he wouldn't.

So she cut off his thumbs.

Now he has no thumbs.

The end.

Once upon a time i made a private giveaway and made a thread about it.

The end

Once upon a time was a little dog named "Cipe". Cats invaded the City of the little Dog, "New Doggie". Cipe defeatet the Cats and became a hero! He saved New Doggie! Then mice attacked New Doggie. He defeatet the City again and became a famous on the whole world as "Hero of New Doggie". Some sad day one human attacked New Doggie, he catched all Dogs, just Cipe survived. He recued all the dogs and beated the human! A single shot of the gun from the human, and the dog was dead. All dogs was sad, and a old dog said: Read the Name of Cipe the Dog backwards. Epic the God. That is the Story of Epic The God / Cipe The Dog. The End.... Hopefully it's ok. :P

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and along with the motorcycle, dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him, and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife used some paper towels to blot up the gasoline, and threw them in the toilet. The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home. After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband laying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was dispatched. While they were going down the stairs to the street, accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.

When I was little, a family of carrots raised me after I hatched out of a tomato bomb, and was born as a dragon, riding a cow, whipping a pig. Later, when I grew up a bit, I knocked a coconut out of a fish tree that was purple. I had just destroyed the habitat of a famous endangered creature known as the ratiorcap. (Never heard of it? That's how endangered it is.) Therefore a lion came and said cook-adoodle-doo. I would not stand for that as it had just insulted my mother. So I ate it and gained the ability to shoot laser beams out of my nose. While telling you my life story I have been eating skunks' ass on a stick.