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There was once a man who loved a girl, and that girl he loved he doted her with pearls. She smiled at him every day, and yet he thought they were drifting away. He tried to make sense of this in his head, but each time he thought he was filled with dread. How could the girl he love leave him now, after he gave her everything his life would allow. At night he dreamt of what he would do, and then he awake and he knew. He would take her life because she took his, and he had nothing left he had no kids. As he set his trap he thought to himself, a woman, my country, or myself.

A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking if he'd like to donate to the Alumni Association. Once, when checking his records, the employee asked, "Is xxx-xxxx your current phone number?

Seeing his opportunity, he answered no, and made up a new phone number. He hasn't heard from them since.

Mario kingdom users were structured very easily. The great doom of wisdom flashed from the sky with mighty rain and pain. Mario kingdom citizens were very dissapointed. They preached for the gods for wisdom to defeat evil doom from the sky's and then happened something very odd. The Luigi world citizen came to hill and said 'This is not to begin for molesting and runned away'. And they never met him again. The real suprise was when pony came from sky to help the users of Mario to destroy the evil doom of gods. Mario's were very happy about that. They used all their preaching power's for pony that was very beautiful. Pony said to Mario users 'Don't fear, im here not to destroy hell..I'm here to destroy DOOM' and she went into cave. There she was alone in darkness suffering from bleeding, but she was fearless and went to the end of cave. There she found very strange rock that was yellow. She returned from cave and throw the rock to evil and mighty doom in sky. The doom went yellow. Everyone was scared of what happened next. Mario users waited a little bit. Then happened very glorious thing. Rainbows came from sky and evil doom was destroyed. So happy ending. :P Writed fully by me. idk why i writed this :)

Long time ago, I played World of Warcraft... We just killed one boss in Ulduar (Raid instance) and going to kill another. Our Raid Leader told: "I am going AFK... Eislyn, I have follow on you, don't lose me!" She replied: "It doesn't depend on me, I have follow on Typhus" ... She was talking about me... Everyone lol'd...

I am from Czech Republic and Typhus in czech form is "Tyfus" ... I never got rid of that nickname...

A little short story u mind want to hear,
made up a crazy one just for you my dear,
so not to be boring ill start it like that :
Some time ago i met a cat - Pat,
he is an old cowboy and he likes to hunt sheeps,
he watches TV and eats shitload of chips,
but why would i say that? Hmm, who knows,
dont look at my boobs you cant milk those.

2011 evryone was playing Black Ops, and waiting to the release of Skyrim, on a gay studio "Never Say Never" movie where recording at the time the protagonist "Juan Biebver" Ask to Nintendo to use the copyrighted Mario theme, on his movie, after a quick response Nintendo say : NO!. The protagonist after not get what he wants he steal a van and kidnap hes director with a gun, Police block the van getaway on Nevada on a stupid reaction from Juan, trying to shoot, the police respond the fire and Juan got kill by 4 shoots.

Everyone was happy that all was over.
-:TrueStory:-

Once upon a time a guy died, the end.

I dug, dug,dug and dug, not is romantic but is profound.

Margaret Bell, who kept bees in Leintwardine, about 7 miles from her home in Ludlow, Shropshire (England), died in June 1994. Soon after her funeral, mourners were amazed to see hundreds of bees settle on the corner of the street opposite the house where she had lived for 26 years. The bees stayed for an hour before buzzing off over the rooftops. The local press ran a photograph of the bees hanging on the wall in a cluster.

Once upon a time there was a guy and a girl. They fell in love and lived happily ever after.

This will be a true story so anyway lets begin: Back in 6th grade I used to tease this girl that I liked a little bit in various ways and one of them was that I used sit in her place in math class and wouldn't budge a muscle until the teacher would come, and she would start hiting me with this really thick math book right in the head. During Halloween I've seen a particular item that caught my interest "blood" capsules it also gave my an idea for prank for me to commit on April Fools (I see it as my duty to prank everyone I know on April Fools and I plan these pranks very carefully, some of my friend even started to avoid me on April Fools, lol) So the day of April Fools came and I sat in the girls place as occasionally do and she started hitting my with math book as she always do, I teased her a littlbe bit more so she would start to hit me even harder and at point slipped a few "blood" capsules in my hair when she didn't notice and when she hit me one more time the capsules popped and the "blood" just poured all over the class and I dropped acted as I were dead. There was so much "blood" that it looked she cracked my head right open, the next thing I know I hear screams and cries all around me and the sound of somebody else dropping - everyone in class is either screaming or crying, the girl that hit me started having a panic attack, another from class fainted, another dude that got my "blood" on his clothes started running like the wind leaving his backpack and books in class and didn't come to school for another 3days, the teacher walked in the class seeing my laying on the table with "blood" all around me dropped her coffee on the ground and run to me started shaking me and then I open up my eyes and shout: APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!! of couse I almost got suspended and half of the class didnt talk to me for the rest of the year but it was worth it.... tl;dr put some "blood" capsules in my hair, girl I like hit me with a thick math book, the "bloo" poers and shoot everywhere, everyone one is screaming or crying, the girl I like is having a panic attack, another girl faints, some dudes runs out the class and doesn't return to school for 3days, the teacher drops her coffee and then I scream APRIL FOOLS!! almost get suspended, half of the class doesn't speak to me anymore. Worth it!

A tale of two cats

My ex likes cats. Feeds the strays on the street now and then. The fondness grew into her after familiarising with her parents' cats. About a couple of years ago,her parents took in two cats from the street in a period of 4 months. One male and on female. Found them abandoned, little, weak and in poor health. The cats grew and with them the need of my ex to have her own cat.
We started looking at classifieds and also tried a couple of times to catch one of the little strays she was feeding. They were a month old then and just stopped feeding from their mother. The effort was pointless. The kittens were semiferal and wouldn't let anyone catch them. So we decided to look for something more tame and focused on the classifieds. We looked everyday in classifieds for a cat that she would like. Finally we found one that said it was giving for free 2 male cats that were less than a month old. They were found in a dumpster. She immediatelly knew the quest was over and said "I want that one" pointing to the smaller of the two. Really cute. Called the lady and arranged to go and pick the kitten after 2 weeks in order for them to grow a little stronger. The meeting was on a Saturday.
In the evening of the day before the meeting my ex calls me in tears and tells me that one of the strays on the street was hit by a car and couldn't move the hind legs. It was one of the little ones that we tried to catch. She was desperate. I went at her place and thought of what to do with the kitten. It needed a vet on a Friday night. But first we had to catch it. It proved difficult to do. The kitten was crawling away from as hiding under a car or behind bushes. So I suggested to corner it. We took a cat carrier she had and I wore a pair of heavy duty gloves. The frightened kitten was resisting with hissing and showing claws and teeth. After some tries we managed to corner it behind a bush. I quickly caught it and threw it in the carrier. Its mother tried to scratch me at that momment.
We got into the car and drove around for an hour looking for an open vet. Nothing found. Asked for info from a friend and told as about a vet clinic in a town about 20 km away. Drove there and the doctor started the tests. When he mentioned that if the damage is on the spine he would have to put it to sleep, my ex burst into tears. Fortunately the damage was 2 broken legs. The vet suggested arrangement for surgery on the next day. As we started to feel better about the curable condition of the cat, the vet mentioned that the operation would cost around 1000 euros. Holy crap. The delimma was hard. Should we spend so much money on a kitten that was not even ours or should we put it to sleep? If we leave it as it is it wouldn't survive. After some thinking over it and after talking to my ex's mother we decided to take the cat to her parents in order to take a second opinion from their vet. That night I met her parents for the first time. Awkward. We left the kitten to her parents and headed home.
Now we had another problem. We had this new cat in our hands and the next morning we had the appoinment to pick the kitten from the lady. I told my ex that we should get to the appointment as planned and we will see what to do with the injured one.
The next morning we went and picked up the kitten from the lady. He was adorable. He wouldn't stop purring loudly. I named him Moto cause his loud purring sounded like a motor.
After getting home with Moto we had other good news. Her parents' vet suggested that the kitten should be treated immobilised until its legs got better. They treated him for a month. I named him Smokey. After he managed to walk again my ex's sister adopted him.

True story
(Sorry for the novel)

I killed Ugh-Zan III yesterday. How's that?

There was 2 men arguing and then all of a suddent a man rushed to them and said, did you know that in Afrika... Every 60 seconds a Minute passes. So they stopped arguing.

End.

[redacted], the xxth xxxxx of xxxx
from: [redacted]
to: [redacted]

Subject: [redacted]

[text redacted]

Should you have received this e-mail in error, please contact [redacted]. This apparent help message is just a test to check our mailing system. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

I got my first kiss when I was 19. TRUE STORY!

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: Too many deer were hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

A man woke up to the sound of a dripping noise, "Drip, drip". At first he ignored and tried to get back to sleep, but it wouldnt stop. "Drip, drip" He put out his arm under the bed to check if his dog didnt maybe run off somewhere. He felt his dog lick his hand and then decided to go take a look where the noise was coming from. He checked his kitchen first, and found nothing, then the toilet, and found nothing. Then as he got closer to his bathroom, the noise got louder. "DRIP, DRIP" As he turned on the light he went into shock at the sight of his dog hanging there, over his bath, blood dripping all over, "Drip, drip".....

I kill people.

once upon a time there was a very happy kid walking in the street eating candy,
then he got hit by a car and died
the end

Once upon a time there was a guy who asked us to write stories for a giveaway link.He is not around now but,we all have respect to people who passed out,so..

Okay, once upon a time, Sock woke up in a huge blender. The blender was so huge, that Sock couldn't get out from it. He looked around, but the plastic of the blender was so thick, that he couldn't see anything outside of it. So, Sock sat down on the knife and began to think. And then, Big Plastic Spoon flew over the blender. In two minutes she flew once again. Sock began to shout "Help me!" but Big Plastic Spoon didn't hear him. Then, he decided to do everything to get freedom. He used a knife to cut off a piece of himself. Then he spatted it up, when Big Plastic Spoon flew again. He hitted her and she fell into a blender. She asked Sock "Why did you hit me?". "Because you didn't hear me", - answered Sock. "Listen, you can fly", - he continued - "can you take me out of that thing?". "No, i can't now", - Big Plastic Spoon said. "You hurt my wing, so i can no more fly." So, they sat on the knife and began to think, what to do. But rain suddenly started. Drops was falling and filling the blender with water. "Look", - said Big Plastic Spoon, - "we can swim out!". "I can't", - said Sock, "i've cut a piece of myself to hit you." So, Big Plastic Spoon tried to help Sock, but it was impossible. And she decided to drown with him, because she was stupid.

The end.

I was woken in the night by the sound of breaking glass. Wishing I wasn't alone in the house I crept downstairs, stopping on the last step and reaching into the living room to turn on the light. The hallway floor in front of me was covered in bits of broken lightbulb, how had it fallen from its socket? It was a bayonet fitting so couldn't gradually unscrew itself. A moment of paranoia - did somebody shoot a blowdart through the letterbox? I put shoes on and swept up the mess. Months later the same light fitting began flickering strangely, even an electrician couldn't find anything wrong with it. One day a few weeks later it stopped for good. Whatever strange forces had clubbed together to freak us out must have found another target.

Once I dug my school backpack, and I found there portal gun (lol) and I just wanted to try it, I shot at the computer into the wall, and the second portal I made in the fridge and since then do not do it for food any step, just reach into the portal: DD

Can i ask you something, when do you add the people as friend and give them the link? :P