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I chased a bug around a tree,
The biggest bug you'll ever see.
I bagged that bug, 'cause he bugged me,
That bug around a tree.
I caught that bug and asked, "Tell me,
O bug, why do you pester me?"
He said, in all sincerity,
"For curiosity!"

Twice upon a time, there was a giant fairy that feared no dinosaurs but one, the Thesaurus. He woke up every day and pranced with the other dinosaurs while the Thesaurus ate fresh BBQ T-rex. The giant stopped when he saw this, and decided to fight his fears and approach the Thesaurus. The Thesaurus promptly threw a T-rex bone at the giant and he ran away crying.

The next day, the giant decided to sneak up on the Thesaurus, but the Thesaurus was GONE! The giant looked everywhere, but he couldn't find the Thesaurus. Then he found his pal google and searched for him. The Thesaurus was chilling on a net with many scary dinosaurs that the giant was also afraid of. These dinosaurs were much bigger than T-rex and the giant realized that the Thesaurus was going to eat the bigger dinosaurs and save the giants village from an invasion.

On the next day, Thesaurus was bigger scarier than the previous day and the giant was too scared to talk to Thesaurus. However, Thesaurus wanted to talk to the giant. Thesaurus approached the giant and said, "I'm ready to play Scrabble with you, Giant Dictionary."

They played scrabble till dawn and the fairy one. Then Thesaurus got BBQ sauce.

The End.

I could tell you the true story of how I got a concussion a few weeks back. It's a short story. I went on a night out, had a few drinks, it was all pretty fun, then one of my male friends wanders over, horribly drunk and drags me over to the dancefloor and starts trying to pick me up. Now I knew how off balanced he was, so I sent him away again to get some water and have a cigarette or something else to take his mind off dancing. Sadly I didn't pay attention to him as he left so he managed to run back over to me and lift me up above his frigging head before I can do anything about it. He then dropped me. On my head. No blood, but I was then forced by bouncers to make a quick trip to A&E where I spent the next few hours with a worsening and incredibly painful headache before a doctor would even see me. The headache lasted for about a week. The end.

I know, not very interesting, but I'm not good at making up stories.

This day, I saw a cat. She walked to the cafeteria. When she got to the counter, she remembered that she's a cat and not a human. She didn't even have a dollar. Then, she walked away.

Original story:
"А я люблю обмазываться не свежим говном и дрочить. Каждый день я хожу по земле с черным мешком для мусора и собераю в него все говно которое вижу. На два полных мешка целый день уходит. Зато, когда после тяжёлого дня я прихожу домой, иду в ванну, включаю горячую воду…ммм и сваливаю в нее свое сокровище. И дрочу, представляя, что меня поглотил единый организм говно. Мне вообще кажется, что какашки, умеют думать, у них есть свои семьи, города, чувства, не смывайте их в унитаз, лучше приютите у себя, говорите с ними, ласкайте их…. А вчера в ванной, мне преснился чудный сон, как будто я нырнул в море, и оно прератилось в говно, рыбы, водоросли, медузы, все из говна, даже небо, даже Аллах!."
Translated story:
"And I love to besmear oneself is not fresh by shit and wank. Every day I walk on the ground with a black garbage bag and Sobieraj it all the shit that I see. Two full bags a day away. But when, after a hard day I come home, go to the bathroom, turn on hot water ... mmm, and dump it in his treasure. And masturbate, imagining that I had swallowed a single organism shit. I do think that shit, they know how to think, they have their own families, cities, feelings, do not wash them down the toilet, it is best to shelter at home, talking with them, pat them .... And yesterday in the bathroom, I'm fresh wonderful dream, as if I had dived into the sea, and it has developed into the shit, fish, seaweed, jellyfish, all of the shit, even the sky, even Allah."

I just played AC revelations at my friends house on the xbox.I CAN'T belive how laggy it is on the xbox the controls are unresponsive and I died by doing a leap of faith into hay

Well, here's a story : http://9gag.com/gag/4195782

Johnson was a traitor, and they knew. The mafia boss invited him to a private conversation. He told him that he has dissapointed powerful people with his recent actions, but forgived him. He was told he was going to fuck bitches and drink vodka. Viktor and Ivan drove him to the villa. The villa was empty. Johnson asked what was going on. "Where are my bitches?", he said. Viktor said "You are the bitch, Johnny-boy" and shot him in the eye. Then they chopped up his body and fed it to the pigs.

Everything started to fall around Kyle; his kingdom had perished under the mighty forces of Langart. He knew he not only lost his entire Kingdom but also the last of his family...”Forgive me Father, I’ve failed to protect you and our Kingdom...I don’t deserve the sacred Blade”. He laid the Blade his Father (Sir Gareth) entrusted him, beside his corpse, when he was also given the throne of the Kingdom Of Aestasia. Kyle walked towards the Furgor Desert in dejection..

Once upon a time there was a farmer who created a radioactive potato. He ate it and died. Then the zombies came in and ate his body, which then turned out to be the cure for zombie virus. They celebrated the dead farmer, and then the dead farmer wanted to fly to the moon. Too bad Willy Wonkas fat ass was blocking the way his last dream never came true. The end.

Once upon a time there was this evil clown, let's name him Darko, who hated all the other clowns. Infact he hated them so much that he hired an assassin to, surprise, kill them. But the assassin failed - he got killed by the clowns. So Darko hired another one, same result. This happened to 44 other assassins til Darko hired #47 who didn't fail but succeeded in killing the other clowns - all except one, Darko. It seemed like Darko was not accurate enough when he told #47 to kill all clowns. So before #47 could kill Darko, he (Darko) had to hide. So he got himself normal clothes, a new haircut and some tan and was not the same guy as before. Infact he looked so different, that the writer of this story doesn't know what Darko is doing anymore.
-The end

Once upon a time i bought Diablo 3, and started playing. The hours past, and after several days of intense playing i went outside.

Just kidding, i'm still playing!

One day i found steam, I hated it at first because i hate change. They forced it upon counter-strike players. It was madness i tell you people in the cybercade were throwing their clothes everywhere. the one guy who couldnt move was suffocated because he wasnt fast enough. Poor jimmy. Then they called off the counter-strike tournament because people were getting mad and killing people. So then we played command and conquer generals until the end! They shut down last spring it was hard to walk away, but we did it...in spirit of generals.

Once I won Skyrim on SteamGifts!!! Then I checked my totem. I awoke, checked my email aaaaand I WON SKYRIM ON STEAMGIFTS!!!!!!!!
Then I checked my totem. Sometimes its not worth returning to reality

Once upon a time, a man was born, then he died.
The end. :)

One day a cow got mad and the world enden.

There once was a man, who wasn't creative enough to make up a story for a website called "SteamGifts". He desperately needed a story. ANY story. But he couldn't think of one. He sat there, thinking for much longer than one could imagine. After about 10 minutes of thinking, he started writing... "There once was a man..." He kept writing for 3 minutes staright, but when he went back to the beginning, he realised that it wasn't good at all, so he deleted everything, closed the browser and cried, because he didn't apply for a giveaway. :(
True story.

This one time in band camp all the flute players...

Once upon a time i had an idea for writing a story.so i wrote it and won the giveaway.
seriously i'm not good at making stories ><

Once apon a time....Valve released Half-Life 3....and it was the best game known to mankind...god wept tears of happiness and the world was finally saved...FROM THE COMBINE! :D (I hope they hurry up)

It was the best week of my life.

The senior class trip to Disney was right around the corner. To not stress us out, it seemed all the teachers had agreed to give zlich homework, no-study-needed quizzes, and even let us relax during classes.

At this point in my life I belonged to a gym. I had a simple regimen: lift weights for an hour, run on a treadmill for an hour, relax in the hot tub. Today was more of the same.

Next morning I woke up with immense pain in my leg, to a point where I can't even walk on it. My mom pointed out that she could feel heat eminating from what looked like a bruise on my leg, hot enough for my leg to be a stovetop. We had no idea what was going on, so we immediately went to the hospital.

Doctor after doctor looked at it and had no idea what it was, until one came in, took one look at it, grabbed a marker, traced the "bruise" on my leg, prescribed some antibiotics, and was said if the bruise shrinks, we know it's working. It did, and after a few days I was let out of the hospital because the doctors knew I was hyped for the trip. They gave me an antibiotic prescription to take at home.

There was one stipulation: No going in the water for at least a month. The ending to the senior trip was going to be a water park.

It was the worst week of my life.

The Ugly Barnacle~

Once there was an ugly barnacle.

He was so ugly that everyone died.

The end.

Once upon a time I read a forum post on Steamgifts about a private giveaway, it seemed pretty cool, the end.

This story is so random it might not even make sense.

Once upon a time there was boy called Peter. He said to his mummy that "Don't let go off it!" but she wasn't listening to him. Peter started to cry and then he cried so hard that daddy came into the room and began to give him a really big spanking. Mummy was frightened, she couldn't believe daddy was punishing Peter. Mummy started to cry so hard too and then then daddy said to mummy "Stop crying or else you will get the same punishment!" Mummy was brave and said "I'm not scared of you, I'm the boss!" Daddy didn't like what mummy said, so daddy started to cry very hard.

-Peter said 'Daddy needs a bloody spanking!'